508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
