dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
time to smoke my breakfast
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
