i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
