I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
