Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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