i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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