There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
