Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
