I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
