So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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