Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Someone stole a lamp last night.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
