just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
