just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
