Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I checked into jail on foursquare
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
