you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
