I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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