We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
