come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
