gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
