You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize