And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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