sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
