clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
