I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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