so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Success! We fucked roommates!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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