The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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