My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
