Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
