But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
