It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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