WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
