high people should be assigned attendants
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
