what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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