Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
There r osticjed everywhere
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
