all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize