I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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