he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
