The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
