i need an iv and a liver transplant
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize