I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
