All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I stole a fireplace last night.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
