I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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