i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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