Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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