we're blogging at a bar
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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