We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
