butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
