Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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