I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize