Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
