I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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