Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You are the jesus of drinking
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
