so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
