i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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