I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
