yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
