Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
