If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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