where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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