I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
