My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
