Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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