my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
