I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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