Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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