I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
